Healing Yourself of Shame

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Everyone feels shame at some point in their lifetime. An essential part of shame,  is how you deal with it. Below is an excerpt from NAMI’s blog post, “How I Healed Myself Of Shame” by Beverly Engel.

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“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel shame. But I do have evidence that there was once a time when I was shame free. I have a photograph of me as a little baby, smiling with a twinkle in my eye. I look radiant and filled with joy. I have another photo of me at four years old, in which I am frowning, and I look defiant and lost. The twinkle in my eye has been replaced with a dark, empty look.

What had occurred that had taken away the joyous smile on my face and replaced it with darkness, emptiness and hatred?

The answer: shame. Shame replaced my innocence, my joy, my exuberance for life. Shame caused me to build a wall of protection and defiance. Who was I defending myself against? My mother, a woman who was so full of shame herself that she couldn’t help but project it onto me.

After being neglected and emotionally abused by my mother, sexually abused at nine and raped at twelve, I found myself riddled with shame and the belief that I was unlovable and rotten inside. I began acting out by shoplifting. I was angry at my mother, the men who had abused me and at all authority figures. I wanted to get back at everyone who had taken advantage of me. After I was finally caught and brought home in a cop car, my mother gave up on me.

Fortunately, I didn’t give up on myself. I knew there was goodness in me and I fought to find it. I turned to solitude and introspection and began to find the pieces of myself I discarded when trying to shield myself from further harm.”

The full article can be found at, https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/April-2018/How-I-Healed-Myself-of-Shame.

 

Keep on, keeping on.

Katheryn Burton

Clemson University, BS Psychology ’18

Case Management Intern

Destination Greatness, PLLC

About Destination Greatness

Destination Greatness is a mental health and substance abuse psychotherapy agency dedicated to assisting individuals and families in maximizing their level of functioning on all life domains in pursuit of Greatness. Destination Greatness provide individuals and families with the opportunity to live more fulfilling and meaningful lives. Destination Greatness strives to enrich each individual and family through greater self-awareness, focus on strengths, and belief in a greater destiny.

 

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http://www.destinationgreatnesspllc.org/

 

 

 

 

3 Tools: Speak To Your Pain

Therapy Talk Thursdays

Holding on to pain, anger, guilt or shame is the glue that binds us to the situation we want to escape. -Iyanla Vanzant

We’ve all experienced pain, disappointment, and adversities in life. Perhaps, it was the homegoing of a loved one, medical issues, relationship trauma, abuse, or financial stressors. Please know that your greatest adversities in life can fuel your greatest successes.

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3 Tools to Speak To Your Pain

1.Acknowledge Your Pain

2. Write A Letter to Your Pain

3.Turn Your Pain into Purpose

Dear Pain,

You have no purpose in my life. You have to go!-DA

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Co-Author Opportunity

Are you ready to share your story? Are you ready to take your power back? Are you ready to turn your pain into purpose?

If so, then email us at speaktoyourpain@gmail.com as we will officially release details on the Speak To Your Pain collaborative book project.

Shanna A. Jefferson